TECHIE
Diamonds are a girl’s best friend. That’s how the saying goes, right? I can’t help but wonder what all the fucking fuss is about. It’s a ring. Nothing more. Nothing less. It’s a piece of oversized jewellery that goes on a finger that no one actually looks at anyway—other than on the day of the wedding, or at the engagement party. And then, what’s it good for? Nothing? It’s pointless. I don’t see the use, but Steel is my best friend, and he wants a ring for Flame. Right now, I don’t think he’d be capable of doing this on his own as he can barely string a sentence together, let alone pick out her perfect sentimental statement piece showing their undying love for each other.
Vomit!
I don’t get the undying love either. I’ve never been in love, nor do I think I ever will. It’s a useless emotion, needing someone, wanting someone so much you are drawn to every inch of them. It’s not something I know. For me, it’s all about the fun. I love my time with the club girls, they satisfy me the best way they know how and I satisfy them in return, but it’s never about love. Lust always, but never love. I guess love is a foreign word for me, it’s not an emotion I know well. I love my brothers, I love my club, I love my family, but love for a woman… no, I’ve never felt that. It’s not on my Over The Horizon radar.
“I’m bringin’ Petunia with us,” Steel announces picking up the tiny teacup pig as she squeals and snorts in a satisfied grunt that he’s holding her.
Raising my eyebrow, I huff. “Seriously? You want to bring the pig to pick out your engagement ring? I know you’re freaking out right now, but brother… it’s a pig. How can it possibly help?”
He huffs cuddling into the pink hunk of bacon that’s literally wearing a tutu. It’s ridiculous!
“Okay for starters, Techie, I thought by now you’d be used to havin’ her around. And stop callin’ her it. She has a name, it’s Petunia. Don’t let Flame hear you callin’ her it, she’ll cut you.” He smirks and I roll my eyes.
“I know she went all Uma Thurman in Kill Bill on Chops and shit, but she loves me too much to hurt me.”
He exhales and shakes his head. “She’ll never live that down. I swear to God all she did was wax off his fuckin’ sideburns and then shot him a few times for good luck. It’s not like she sliced off his cock like Ma did or anythin’.”
I can’t hold back my chuckle as I shake my head. “It’s not the fact that she didn’t slice his cock off, Steel, it’s the fact that little miss goody two-shoes picked up a gun and shot three bullets into him. I think that was the start of her becoming the tough chick we all know and love now. I gotta tell you, when I first met little miss MC1R, I seriously thought she’d be chewed up and spat out, but she fits in so well here. But this club… Aldinga, it’s so different to Virginia and I think that’s why she’s like the mother hen now. The club girls look up to her, the men love her. She really is Queen-fucking-B.”
Steel smiles and nods like he’s proud of himself standing a little taller. “Yeah, she is, and she’s all mine.”
I look up to the ceiling as the facts come racing through my medial temporal lobe. “You know that women actually outperform men in IQ tests in general, statistics show that women beat men on the IQ scale most of the time now.”
Steel furrows his brows at me and shakes his head slightly. “Okay?”
“Also, women’s immune systems are significantly stronger than a males, possibly due to estrogens immune boosting influence and other genetic advantages.”
He exhales and continues to look at me blankly. So I continue to make my point. “Women are better drivers statistically than men too—”
“Seriously Techie, women are not better drivers than men. Can you imagine Flame ridin’ my Hog? I don’t think so!”
I chuckle. “The statistics don’t lie Steel.”
He tilts his body and shakes his head raising his eyebrow at me. “I know there’s a point in this crazy conversation somewhere. Can you make it, please?”
I huff and fold my arms over my chest annoyed that he never understands me. I think I make perfect sense. “It’s so fucking simple if you’d just listen to me, Steel. I’m saying that Flame is a woman.”
He chuckles and nods. “I’m well aware of that Techie—”
“Yes, well, think about what I said.”
He grunts and rolls his eyes. “You know you need to not tech talk me. Just make it plain and simple so I can fuckin’ understand, you dork.”
Groaning as I shake my head in annoyance, I throw my hands in the air. “Flame’s better than you at everything. She’s too good for you, is what I’m saying. So are you sure you want to bring her into this for life?”
He slumps his body and exhales holding onto the little rodent pig a little tighter and looking her in the face. “I know you don’t understand the whole lovin’ someone concept. And I know puttin’ a ring on it, is scary for you. But Techie, I’m still gonna to be your best mate. I’m not gonna abandon you, I’m not gonna end up some whipped motherfucker who leaves the club for his woman. Flame loves it here, she loves the kids, she loves the girls, she wouldn’t leave here and neither would I. Don’t worry, brother, you won’t lose me twice.”
Taking a deep breath, I gnaw on my bottom lip. For a dumb fuck, he’s actually pretty smart. I love Flame, I do, and I think them getting hitched is a brilliant idea, but I lost Steel once already. I don’t want to lose him again. He’s hit the nail on the head.
“Right, well in that case then, let’s go get your woman a Cullinan.”
He furrows his brows and shrugs. “What?”
Groaning in frustration at the sheer stupidity of him sometimes, I shake my head. “It’s a type of diamond, you dick. Jesus Steel, you really know nothing. Did you even go to school?”
He chuckles. “I’m not sure they teach you the different types of diamonds in school, Techie.”
Clicking my tongue to the roof of my mouth, I nod. “Yeah, you’re right, they teach relationships and sexuality, and about alcohol and drugs, when they should be learning about nanoscience and genetics.”
Steel grins and opens his eyes wide. “Right, so five-year-olds should learn how to clone sheep.”
Nodding, I shrug my shoulders. “It’s the way of the future, Steel. The youth need to learn about the technology that’s out there.”
“Can’t they just live like kids, at least until the aliens invade?”
My eyebrows crease, and I scoff. “Aliens? You seriously are going mad. Let’s get this ring before I change my mind. The pig isn’t coming.”
“Petunia is coming! Let’s go.”
***
Pulling the cage up out the front of the jeweller, I turn to look at Steel as he clings to the pig who’s snorting and sniffing his face almost licking it with delight. She’s a weird little creature. I guess she’s cute, but to me I don’t see why she needs to be wearing that goddamned tutu.
Steel’s face is pale as he looks down at the pig and he smiles and nods. “We can do this Petunia.”
Raising my eyebrow at the fact that he’s now talking to said tutu wearing pig, I shake my head slightly and huff. “Steel if you’re so nervous about buying a ring, does that mean really deep down you want to do this?”
He glances at me, and a genuine smile crosses his pasty face. “I might be shittin’ myself and I might be as nervous as fuck, but that’s only because I absolutely don’t want to fuck this up. Willow deserves only the best, and if I get the wrong ring then it can put a hex on the whole damned thing. I need this to be right. I need to make it perfect for her.”
Exhaling, I nod and smile. “We’ll get the right one, I promise.”
He nods and draws a long, deep breath in through his nose, then opens his door stepping out. I clench my eyes tight mentally preparing myself for this—whatever the fuck is about to happen. Opening my eyes, I slap on a brave supportive face, stepping out of the van and walking over to the sidewalk to stand next to him. We look toward the huge windows of the jeweller as the pig snorts and nuzzles into Steel’s chest. The little shit really loves him.
“Right, let’s get her some carats.”
Steel looks at me his eyebrows drawn together and his lips turned downward in apparent confusion.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake, never mind. Let’s get her a ring, you dumb fuck.”
We stroll toward the giant glass double doors of the jeweller. This is the most respected and expensive place in all of Adelaide. It looks it too with its dark red carpet, marble display cases with gold trims and spotless glass tops. As the doors pull back with ease, and Steel walks through, I can’t help but notice the ladies behind the display counters all look up, and that unmistakable look of terror that cross their faces when women see bikers. One places her hand under the table, and I roll my eyes.
“No need for the safety alarm sweetheart, we’re here to purchase a ring, we won’t be any trouble. You have my word.” The deep gravel in Steel’s voice makes me purse my lips as all the women in the room sink slightly. I know that look, they’re melting at his voice, and obviously because of the way he looks. I know Steel is supposedly a looker. I can’t see it, but then again I’m a guy, so if I could that’d be an issue. But girls fan their pussies when he’s around. It’s natural I guess, he’s young, fit and the fact that he’s carrying a pig in a tutu doesn’t hurt either.
“Squeee…” Petunia lets out a massive squeal and struggles in Steel’s grip.
“Shit pig,” he chides as one of the ladies screams and hides behind the counter further as the other two chuckle slightly. Steel loses his grip on her, and she drops to the floor and starts to race around the shop at full tea cup pig speed.
“Oh my God, it will ruin the carpet with its filth. Get it out of here!” the screaming girl yells as she jumps up onto a crate as the other two continue to giggle and Steel takes off chasing after her.
I roll my eyes and huff as she squeals running around the shop floor, her tutu flowing from side to side.
“Petunia, I swear to God if you don’t stop I will make you into bacon,” Steel calls out, and I beam as I catch one of the other ladies looking me up and down. I nod and smile at her and her cheeks flush bright pink as she hides into herself.
I walk over to her as the woman on the crate continues to yell at Steel, and the other one starts to rush around with Steel to help him chase after Petunia. I look at the petite blonde and half-smile. “Hey.”
She giggles and bats her eyelashes at me. “Hi, we don’t usually allow your kind in here.”
Opening my eyes wide, I tilt my head slightly as Petunia rushes past me letting out a happy squeee followed by Steel and the other woman. “My kind, hey?”
She swallows hard instantly shaking her head like she’s scared. “No, I didn’t mean anything bad by that, I just meant… I mean… I meant…”
“They say stuttering is a sign of nervousness. Do I make you nervous?”
She swallows hard again and nods slowly.
Smiling, I lean in closer as Petunia lets off another squeee causing the woman on the crate to scream and Steel and the other woman to laugh. “Don’t be nervous, we’re the good guys. I promise. Now once my douche bag friend here has caught the bacon, can you show him some carats?”
She nods and smiles.
“Thanks, darling. Now just checking, you don’t do any outsider trading, do you? Any underhanded dealings?”
She frowns. “Umm… I don’t know what you mean?”
I frown. “I mean do you traffic blood diamonds or trade in black market affairs from the back of your shop?”
She jolts back and shakes her head. “N-no, sir… if that’s what you’re after, I’m sorry we can’t help you.”
I smile and reach out grabbing her hand, and she gasps holding her breath. “It’s okay Kammi, I wanted to make sure you were reputable. We wouldn’t want to be sold something dodgy that would have goons coming after us. This ring has to be perfect. Nothing but the best, you understand?”
She fakes a smile and nods. “H-how did you know my name?”
I chuckle and letting her shaking hand go, and point to her lanyard with her name on it. She sighs and rolls her eyes at herself.
“Oh my God, I’m so blonde.”
“I didn’t want to say it,” I murmur and she frowns as Petunia squeals, and I hear and almighty laugh as I turn to see Steel finally corner her. He reaches down to grab her and picks her up. She snorts almost like she’s laughing, and it makes mesmile as Steel shakes his head and cuddles her.
“You fuckin’ piece of bacon. I’m gonna handcuff you to me next time I take you out.”
“Wow! Getting hands on with the animals now, VP. That’s a whole new world of kink.”
The women all chuckle and he picks up a pencil and throws it at me. It misses and falls to the carpeted floor. “Shut up you cock. Right, okay, now we have this little piggy settled, can you show me the best engagement rings you have to offer please?”
Kammi takes a deep breath and pulls a set of keys from her waist and walks over to a cupboard. “Our most expensive ones are in here, I’ll get them for you.”
She pulls out a tray and brings them over to us, placing them on the display cabinet in front of us as the other two women stand back watching. I look at the rings and they all seem… nice, I suppose.
I look at Steel, and he’s glancing over the array of rings, and he turns pale white.
I think I need to take the lead on this for him.
“How many carats is this?” I point to the first ring, and Kammi pulls it out and smiles.
“This is a nice one, it’s 2.10 carats.”
I smile. “So the clarity grade is around SI1?”
Steel’s head snaps toward me, and he furrows his brows like he’s amazed I know anything about diamonds. But c’mon, I’m Techie, I know bits and pieces about everything.
Kammi nods and smiles coyly.
Steel sighs and shakes his head. “I have no idea what I’m doin’.”
I slap his back and nod. “Okay, well in my opinion, for Flame, this one isn’t good enough. Can we see something more in the range of 4 carats, please?”
Kammi’s eyes light up, and I know why. She probably works on commission, this will be a good day for her.
“I know just the one.” She picks up a large ring, and I must admit even I’m slightly wowed by it. The diamond in the centre and it’s huge, and the band is simple but elegant with a slight pattern etched into the platinum band.
Steel smiles and chews on his bottom lip as Petunia snorts and nudges Kammi’s hand as she hands it to Steel.
“This piece is exquisite with a clarity grade at SI1, the colour is I, and the band is in a solid platinum with filigree pattern etched into the silver. It’s a one of a kind, there’s no others in the world like it.”
I smile and look at Steel as he beams widely. “Do you think it’ll fit?”
I shrug and look at Kammi, she’s about the same size as Flame, so I grab the ring and reach out for her left hand. She gasps and tries to pull her hand away, and I furrow my brows at her. “Sorry, can you try the ring on so we can test the size? You’re about the same as Willow.”
“Yeah, you are. Please. I need to know it’ll fit her,” Steel begs.
Kammi smiles and nods taking the ring from me and placing it on her finger herself. It looks great on, and a wave of something washes over me. A feeling of loneliness, of regret? I’m not sure, but for the first time I feel sad that I don’t have someone in my life I can have a moment like this with. Steel laughs and throws Petunia up into the air, she squeals and as he catches her, he squeezes her stomach and a rumble of epic proportions echoes out of her arse. The women all gasp and I burst out laughing as Steel turns bright red.
“Fuck! Sorry. She had a big lunch before she came out. Plus, all that runnin’ around would’ve given her gas.”
Kammi chuckles and pulls the ring off her finger and lays it on the plush red velvet box.
“So what do you think? Is it a winner?”
Steel nods. “Yeah, I’m freakin’ out. But yeah, I think it is… wait how much is it?”
Kammi smiles. “Sixty-five thousand.”
Steel goes pale white and stumbles on the spot. I reach out to grab him as Petunia slips in his arms slightly, but he snags her before she falls.
“Holy fucking fuck tits.”
“You didn’t think it would be a grand did you?” I ask, and he shakes his head turning even whiter.
“No, but I was thinkin’ maybe ten. Fuck Techie! Am I doin’ the right thing? This ring is perfect, and I want nothin’ but perfection for her. But fuck me man, sixty-five K… that’s half a small fuckin’ house. Shit, this is real. This is really real. Fuck! I’m gonna ask her to marry me. That means kids and a weddin’ and fuckin’… fuck… shit Techie this is real—”
“You said that—”
“Did I? Shit! I feel hot. Is it hot in here?” he asks pulling his shirt back and forth from his chest, and his grip on Petunia is slipping.
He’s starting to fall apart and I’ve never really been very good at pep talks, but I know he needs one now. Petunia is falling, so I reach out and grab her just as she slips. She squeals as I grab her, then I hold her out from me.
“I’ll get some water,” Kammi mentions as Steel starts to pace back and forth around the shop.
“Steel, listen, you love Flame.”
He looks at me and nods even though his eyebrows are creased so far together he has a monobrow and his frown is going to fall off his face.
“So what’s the issue?”
“Is this too soon? I mean am I projectin’? My dad died, so am I just actin’ out of fear of losin’ her, too?”
Huffing, I roll my eyes. “You were going to do this before Mad Dog… died. This isn’t a reaction to losing your dad, Steel.”
“But what if she could do better than me? What if we end up like Mum and Dad did, and she ends up alone and miserable because I dragged her into this life?”
I really think he’s losing his mind. So I place the pig on the floor, she proceeds to speed off running again like a bloody tornado, she knocks into Kammi who trips and spills her glass of water all over the floor. I ignore the commotion while continuing toward Steel as he breathes harshly in and out of his mouth like he’s starting to panic, and I slap him hard across his bearded face. Everyone in the room gasps and Steel grabs the side of his cheek as he stops panting and turns to face me. My hand is stinging from the force of the blunt hit, but I don’t care he needed a wake-up call.
He takes a deep breath and nods. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Weirdest. Day. Ever…” Kammi mumbles under her breath, as Petunia continues to run around the room. The screaming lady is yet again back on her crate—you guessed it screaming—as Petunia finds it hilarious and is jumping ather feet.
“So, we doing this big, man?”
He smiles. “I love her, she’s worth way more than sixty grand.”
“Sixty-five,” I correct, and he exhales and shakes his head.
“Box it up, Kammi,” Steel requests and she smiles and nods.
***
Petunia kept me entertained while Steel purchased the ring from Kammi, and I tried hard not to laugh at the assistant who was deathly afraid of a tea cup pig in a tutu. She really needs to get her fears in order. We’re back in the cage, and Petunia is rifling around the back as we drive to the clubhouse. Steel seems like he’s on cloud fucking nine. I’m so glad I was able to do this with him. Even though he freaked out and I had to bring him back from the brink of a panic attack, it was cool to be sharing this moment with him. I know he and Flame will be very happy together. They really are the perfect power couple.
I drive down the long road to the Aldinga clubhouse, and as I pull up to the gates they open for us. Gadget must be watching and recognised the van. Makes life easier. After pulling in, we walk around the back opening the door to let Petunia out and to retrieve the ring, but the back of the van is—for the lack of a better phrase—a pigsty.
“What the fuck?” Steel murmurs as Petunia snorts happily then jumps own from the cage and wanders off like she’s pleased with herself.
Then I see it. “Umm… Steel.”
“Yeah?”
“The bag from the jeweler…” I point to it—it’s in shreds and the jewellery box open facing away from us.
“Fuck!” Steel jumps in the back of the cage and rushes to the box, he drops to his knees and turns the box over with his chest heaving. “Petunia ate the fucking ring!”
